bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
