I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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