it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
