i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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