Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
