its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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