Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
