I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
