Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
