i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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