I heard we made out
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
