ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
