Nicole vs. Life
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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