Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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