overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
