i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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