she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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