i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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