Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
