D3 body, D1 cock
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
