standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
