Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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