I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
operation have a gay friend backfired
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
