I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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