I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
