I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
