you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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