please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
