So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
