Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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