fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
