idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
