I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
