Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
did i just pee glitter
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
