last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
