i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
