hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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