That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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