So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
