just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
