You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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