Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
