Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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