We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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