Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
