This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
