at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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