I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
