Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
