I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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